The bonds created in the birthing space are unmatched. Undoubtedly, there is the bond between mom and baby and certainly between mom and her birth partner, but there are other relationships that bud in pregnancy and blossom throughout labor and birth – the bonds between mom and her doula, provider, nurses and others on her birth team.
Like so many VBAC moms, I had this wildly unexpected, yet gorgeous birth experience with my last VBA2C baby. For weeks I felt such a deep connection with my doula and the most sincere gratitude for my midwife. I wanted so intensely for both of them to know how much they were appreciated. I wanted to gift them the world.
I think these feelings are so common. I mean, we invite another person (or several people) into the most sacred experience of our lives. We share our most personal thoughts, fears and desires. We walk and roar our way through labor and birth with them gripping our hands, rubbing our backs and wiping our tears. They stand by us as we mold and meld into new versions of ourselves, culminating in an extension of our hearts now lying on our bare chests, wondering how we ever lived before this moment.
This is a lot to share with someone we barely knew nine months ago.
Whether a doula, a midwife, OB, nurse, friend or family member… these birth team members witnessed what might be our most significant life-change. And on the other side of this shared experience exists a wildy unique, indescribable emotional bond.
I’m certain if you asked nearly every doula or provider, they would tell you that being allowed into this space and experience is a gift in itself, no thanks or things necessary.
But it also makes so much sense that you want to give them something for walking alongside you.
Our Facebook community and some dear doula friends helped me compile a list of some of the most beloved gifts they’ve received through the years. I hope you’ll find them helpful.
No Cost Gifts from the Heart
Remember that some of the most meaningful gifts you can give cost nothing at all.
Write a sincere thank you card – Giving someone a personal account of the way you made them feel, something tangible they can hold on to and re-read when their job gets hard (because their job does get hard), is priceless. Let them see your experience through your eyes, tell them exactly how they impacted you, your baby and your life. Here are some super cute, simple thank you cards.
Share about your experience – Tell your family and friends about the person, agency or location that supported you. Like, share, tag and post on social media. Your virtual support can go far.
We’re always looking for more stories to share on social media and our podcast, and we love to shoutout amazing birthworkers! Share your story with us!
Leave an honest review – Birthworkers LOVE reviews! Reviews help them evaluate their work but even more importantly help others evaluate their work and decide to hire them. Leaving a glowing review helps them stand out and grow their business. And even more, it helps other people like you find the same loving support you had.
Just like birthworkers love reviews, so do we! If The VBAC Link Podcast has played a role in your birth preparation and experience, we would absolutely love to hear from you! You can leave us a review on any of the following platforms: Apple Podcast Review, Spotify Podcast Review, Facebook Review, Google Review.
Get Birthy With It
There are endless options here! Etsy is a great source for personalized, play on words, birthy accessories and more, but you can find cute things like this other places, too.
Birthworker mug – I adore these sweet, sentimental mugs with depictions of a mama and doula working together. Plus, the doula affirmations are so perfect! Your nurses or midwife would love this one, too!
Custom tshirt – So many doulas and midwives love wearing custom tees to births. It was one of the first things on my list to buy myself as a doula! These are simple and gorgeous, perfect for customizing with your doula or provider’s name. There are so many cute tshirt options – here’s another fun design.
Cute sweatshirt – Birthworkers like to dress in layers, so a sweatshirt is always helpful. These are trendy and so adorable!
Doula gift set – I am loving this minimalist designed yet totally beautiful (and kind of cute & cheeky) gift set!
Keepsake birth log – I cannot get over how perfect this gift idea is! Especially for those who like journaling and / or keeping data, these birth logs would make such a sweet gift.
Oxytocin necklace or tshirt – This is one of the items I gifted my doula. It just felt so perfect because when she walked in the room during labor, everything changed. She was my greatest source of oxytocin.
Tote bag – I am always looking for a cute tote to throw my laptop, notebook or other basics in when I work from the coffee shop or head to a consultation. This bag is lovely.
Make it Personal
If you really know your doula or provider, give them something personal or something they wouldn’t normally buy for themselves.
Trendy drinkware – Everyone loves a Stanley tumbler or Yeti mug, but it might not be something they’d purchase for themselves. You could even have their name or logo added.
Relaxation – Birthworkers are on the clock for long hours, we know this. Consider a gift certificate for a massage, spa experience or even a self-care gift basket like this one or this one.
Local experience – Share one of your favorite local experiences by giving them gift certificates to restaurants, coffee shops, bakeries or breweries. One doula I know got a gift certificate for the local tattoo shop because her clients knew that was something meaningful to her!
Doula bag essentials – Some doulas love gadgets! A new massage tool, personal fan or set of twinkle lights could be really appreciated. This personalized labor comb is super cute and customizable!
Pass it On
Nothing compares to the gift of creating a ripple effect and sharing the joy and love you received with others.
Refer a friend or family member – When you’re out and about, scrolling social media mom groups or chatting with your brunch friends, tell them about your lovely experience and share the specific business name and contact information. Especially for a doula, word of mouth is very important for their ability to expand and serve more clients.
Donations for other clients – One of my favorite ideas is donating funds for other families to access your doula’s services. You could settle on an amount and talk with your doula about how they could use the donation to help someone who might not be able to afford support otherwise. Is there a more perfect way to share the joy and tell your doula how amazing you think they are?!
One last idea if you’re feeling like you have the time and energy in those last weeks of pregnancy is to bring a couple of gift baskets to the hospital with you. When I was pregnant with my first baby, I made a cute snack basket for the nurses during labor and for our hospital stay after. You can attach a simple label like this and fill it with quick snacks like mints, trail mix, granola bars and popcorn. It’s certainly not an expectation, but if it’s a project that brings you joy, it’s a sweet, appreciated gesture.
There is no doubt that the people by our side during these most sacred moments of our lives are bonded to us. We’re bonded to them. These are special relationships, and while no amount of money or number of gifts is worth what we’ve just experienced together, sometimes giving a gift, a referral, a review just feels really good and helps other mamas like you find amazing support, too.
We’re so grateful to be on this journey with you!
Don’t forget to join our Facebook community, follow-us on Instagram, check out our Parents VBAC and HBAC Education course and give our podcast a listen where lots of incredible women share their VBAC journeys.
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